THE QUESTIONS - LAZER LENG EDITION
The only way that you could not have heard of Lazer Leng is if you are still in winter hibernation or simply oblivious. Lazer has been kicking up a stink with his forthright views on the world of YouTube Hip Hop. He is a self appointed voice of reason and is bringing forth opinions that some people may think but dare not voice. Lazer has also injected humor and sometimes Hip Hoppers forget that it’s good for the culture to have the ability to laugh at ones self. It’s also good for people to voice their opinions which can act as quality control. I am most fortunate that Lazer Leng, disguised guardian of YouTube with the masked face and voice, has taken time out from his daily battle with all that is wrong with the videos that some should think twice before they upload and put themselves in the sights of a Lengdown! I was truly hoping I wouldn’t become a victim I think I escaped intact just!
b-girl: What got you into Hip Hop?
Lazer Leng: LENGERS HAVE BEEN PASSING DOWN HIP HOP FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION, I WAS BORN INTO THIS LIFE.
b-girl: Beyond your voice of reason persona do you spit bars?
Lazer Leng: SECRETLY EVERYONE SPITS BARS BUT RIGHT NOW THERE’S TOO MANY PAGONS ON THE PLAYING FIELD SO I DON’T THINK YOU WILL BE HEARING MINE ANYTIME SOON
b-girl: For the uninitiated What is a Lengdown?
Lazer Leng: A LENGDOWN IS A LINE UP OF TERMINAL LENINGITIS SUFFERERS BEING PUT OUT OF THEIR MISERY VIA MULTIPLE LAZERS TO THE DOM
b-girl: What was the first YouTube clip that made you know you were destined to grab up your lazer and start blasting?
Lazer Leng: WHEN YOU GET TRAINED BY THE LENGERS PART OF THAT TRAINING INVOLVES WATCHING BARE YOU TUBE VIDEOS OF PAGONS FOR DAYS ON END ON SOME CLOCKWORK ORANGE SHIT. TOO MANY TO MENTION.
b-girl: Do you see yourself as Superhero or Supervillain?
Lazer Leng: LENG IS FOR THE PEOPLE. WHATEVER THEY NEED AT THE TIME.
b-girl: Which comedian makes you laugh with abandon?
Lazer Leng: BIG NARSTIE IS CONSTANTLY DISHING OUT THOSE VERBAL LAZERS WITH #BASE
b-girl: Your favorite curse word is?
Lazer Leng: PANZY
b-girl: Do you have any opinion on MF Doom and his consistency to stay masked?
Lazer Leng: WHAT PEOPLE DON’T KNOW IS THE MF IN MF DOOMS NAME STANDS FOR “MULTIPLE FLAVORZ”. HE IS A COOK IN THE #LENGARMY SO IS BOUND BY THE RULES TO STAY MASKED.
b-girl: Have you ever gone a Lengdown too far and had to blame it on the alcohol?
Lazer Leng: NO BUT THERE WAS ONE TIME WHEN ME, MULTIPLE FLAVORZ AND GORDAN RAMSEY WERE GETTING WAVED OF SOME BIO FUEL, NEXT THING GORDAN HAS ONLY GONE AND FALLEN FACE FIRST INTO THE DEEP FAT FRYER. ITS DEEP BECAUSE HE WAS DEFIANTLY TOP KITCHEN LENGER BUT HE LEFT AFTER THAT. STILL TO THIS DAY HIS FACE LOOKS DIFFERENTLY MELTED #LENG
b-girl: Have you ever wanted to be a WWF wrestler?
Lazer Leng: BUN ALL THESE MAN HUGGIN EACH OTHER UP ON STAGE ALL SWEATY FOR CAMERAS TALKING ABOUT “SLAMMIN” EACH OTHER AND “FIST PUMPIN” A GUY. THEY ALL DESERVE MOIST ACTING FINDING, STEROIDS SEEKING, LAZERS TO THEIR TROUBLED PAST ARE FUTURE PROBLEMS #LENG
b-girl: Are you of the opinion that some rappers should work on their craft before graduating from bedroom to YouTube?
Lazer Leng: LAZERS NOT TELLING ANYONE HOW TO LIVE BUT IF YOUR A PAGON YOU WILL GET #LENG
b-girl: Is there any behavior displayed from any old clips on YouTube that may cause you to give historical Lengdowns?
Lazer Leng: THERE’S TOO MUCH WASTE IN THE HERE AND NOW TO BE BACK TRACKING TOO FAR. I HAVE LENGED SOME PEOPLE FROM A COUPLE YEARS BACK BUT I HAD MY EYE ON THEM FOR TIME.
b-girl: Which rappers or crews do you think are force-field protected, Leng proof as it were?
Lazer Leng: JME IS ONE GUY WHO HAS A FORCE-FIELD BIG ENOUGH TO SURROUND SOME OF THE PEOPLE CLOSE TO HIM. HE IS A GUY WHO HAS LENGING SINCE DAY ONE AND HIS BARS ALL SEEM TO GO THROUGH THE LENGOMETER UNTOUCHED.
AND NINES, NOT SO FAMOUS BUT HOW MANY MAN GO ROUND THE ENDS GIVING SHIT AWAY IN THERE VIDEOS. REAL BOSS MOVEMENTS. BARE OTHER PEOPLE KNOW THEY GOT FORCE-FIELD MAN FROM H.E.N.C.H, HIGH FOCUS, INVASION ALERT, PIFF GANG BARE PEOPLE BUT JUMP ON TWITTER TO GET INVOLVED WITH THAT.
b-girl: Do you think you could take an academic approach and devise a Lazer Leng NVQ or degree?
Lazer Leng: WHAT A LENG-V-Q…HAHA YOUR ETHER BORN A LENGER OR NOT BUT IT STILL TAKES PRACTICE. THE MORE LAZERS YOU DISH OUT, LIKE A NICE BOTTLE OF WINE YOU CAN ONLY GET BETTER WITH TIME. #MULTIPLELAZERS
b-girl: Will you ever collaborate with a scientist geek to design a real lazer?
Lazer Leng: THIS QUESTION IS LAUGHABLE. PEOPLE HAVE GONE TO PRISON FOR WAVIN KNIVES AND GUNS ON YOU TUBE VIDEOS…WHAT YOU THINK THEY’RE GUNNA DO WHEN THEY SEE A DOUBLE BARRELED SOLAR CHARGING LAZER CANON. LAZER LENG IS SMARTER THAN THAT.
b-girl: Iron Man V Spiderman – who wins?
Lazer Leng: IN MY OPINON THERE BOTH AS MOIST AS THE JEDWARD TWINS IN 3 QUARTER LENGTH WET SUITS SCUBA DIVING IN MICHAEL BARRYMORE SWIMMING POOL AFTER A COUPLE PAGON RITUALS. THEY WOULD BOTH GET #LENG
b-girl: How do like minded people join your Leng Army?
Lazer Leng: GO CHECK OUT THE YOUTUBE VIDEOS youtube.com/lazerleng AND GO START DISHING OUT YOUR OWN LAZER ON WHAT EVER SCALE YOU CAN. IF YOU NEED TO PROTECT YOUR CHEST WE GOT #LENG T-SHIRTS RIGHT NOW SO COP THEM HERE
AND GO ON THE TWITTER @lazerleng.
BIG UP EVERYONE SUPPORTING, GO TELL A FRIEND TO TELL A FRIEND TO TELL HIS MUM TO TELL HER NEW BOYFRIEND FOR HIM TO TELL THAT GUY AT THE BUS STOP SO HE CAN TELL HIS MATE WITH ALL THE PLANTS THAT LENG IS FOR THE PEOPLE!
b-girl: So there you have it! He is a character and I support his endeavors! And yes Lazer is, if not SHOUTING at you, speaking to you in a very firm tone! The capitals are all his:) Make sure you subscribe to his channel, buy a t-shirt and join his LENG ARMY!
Posted on Thursday, May 2nd 2013