THE QUESTIONS - LAZER LENG EDITION

The only way that you could not have heard of Lazer Leng is if you are still in winter hibernation or simply oblivious.  Lazer has been kicking up a stink with his forthright views on the world of YouTube Hip Hop.  He is a self appointed voice of reason and is bringing forth opinions that some people may think but dare not voice.  Lazer has also injected humor and sometimes Hip Hoppers forget that it’s good for the culture to have the ability to laugh at ones self.  It’s also good for people to voice their opinions which can act as quality control.  I am most fortunate that Lazer Leng,  disguised guardian of YouTube with the masked face and voice, has taken time out from his daily battle with all that is wrong with the videos that some should think twice before they upload and put themselves in the sights of a Lengdown!  I was truly hoping I wouldn’t become a victim I think I escaped intact just!

b-girl: What got you into Hip Hop?

Lazer Leng: LENGERS HAVE BEEN PASSING DOWN HIP HOP FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION, I WAS BORN INTO THIS LIFE. 

b-girl: Beyond your voice of reason persona do you spit bars?

Lazer Leng:  SECRETLY EVERYONE SPITS BARS BUT RIGHT NOW THERE’S TOO MANY PAGONS ON THE PLAYING FIELD SO I DON’T THINK YOU WILL BE HEARING MINE ANYTIME SOON

b-girl: For the uninitiated What is a Lengdown?

Lazer Leng:  A LENGDOWN IS A LINE UP OF TERMINAL LENINGITIS SUFFERERS BEING PUT OUT OF THEIR MISERY VIA MULTIPLE LAZERS TO THE DOM

b-girl: What was the first YouTube clip that made you know you were destined to grab up your lazer and start blasting?

Lazer Leng:  WHEN YOU GET TRAINED BY THE LENGERS PART OF THAT TRAINING INVOLVES WATCHING BARE YOU TUBE VIDEOS OF PAGONS FOR DAYS ON END ON SOME CLOCKWORK ORANGE SHIT. TOO MANY TO MENTION.

b-girl: Do you see yourself as Superhero or Supervillain?

Lazer Leng: LENG IS FOR THE PEOPLE. WHATEVER THEY NEED AT THE TIME.

b-girl: Which comedian makes you laugh with abandon?

Lazer Leng: BIG NARSTIE IS CONSTANTLY DISHING OUT THOSE VERBAL LAZERS WITH #BASE

b-girl: Your favorite curse word is?

Lazer Leng:  PANZY 

b-girl: Do you have any opinion on MF Doom and his consistency to stay masked?

Lazer Leng: WHAT PEOPLE DON’T KNOW IS THE MF IN MF DOOMS NAME STANDS FOR “MULTIPLE FLAVORZ”. HE IS A COOK IN THE #LENGARMY SO IS BOUND BY THE RULES TO STAY MASKED. 

b-girl: Have you ever gone a Lengdown too far and had to blame it on the alcohol?

Lazer Leng: NO BUT THERE WAS ONE TIME WHEN ME, MULTIPLE FLAVORZ AND GORDAN RAMSEY WERE GETTING WAVED OF SOME BIO FUEL, NEXT THING GORDAN HAS ONLY GONE AND FALLEN FACE FIRST INTO THE DEEP FAT FRYER. ITS DEEP BECAUSE HE WAS DEFIANTLY TOP KITCHEN LENGER BUT HE LEFT AFTER THAT. STILL TO THIS DAY HIS FACE LOOKS DIFFERENTLY MELTED #LENG

b-girl: Have you ever wanted to be a WWF wrestler?

Lazer Leng: BUN ALL THESE MAN HUGGIN EACH OTHER UP ON STAGE ALL SWEATY FOR CAMERAS TALKING ABOUT “SLAMMIN” EACH OTHER AND “FIST PUMPIN” A GUY. THEY ALL DESERVE MOIST ACTING FINDING, STEROIDS SEEKING, LAZERS TO THEIR TROUBLED PAST ARE FUTURE PROBLEMS #LENG

b-girl: Are you of the opinion that some rappers  should work on their craft before graduating from bedroom to YouTube?

Lazer Leng: LAZERS NOT TELLING ANYONE HOW TO LIVE BUT IF YOUR A PAGON YOU WILL GET #LENG

 b-girl: Is there any behavior displayed from any old clips on YouTube that may cause you to give historical Lengdowns?

Lazer Leng: THERE’S TOO MUCH WASTE IN THE HERE AND NOW TO BE BACK TRACKING TOO FAR. I HAVE LENGED SOME PEOPLE FROM A COUPLE YEARS BACK BUT I HAD MY EYE ON THEM FOR TIME.

b-girl: Which rappers or crews do you think are force-field protected, Leng proof as it were?

Lazer Leng: JME IS ONE GUY WHO HAS A FORCE-FIELD BIG ENOUGH TO SURROUND SOME OF THE PEOPLE CLOSE TO HIM. HE IS A GUY WHO HAS LENGING SINCE DAY ONE AND HIS BARS ALL SEEM TO GO THROUGH THE LENGOMETER UNTOUCHED.

AND NINES, NOT SO FAMOUS BUT HOW MANY MAN GO ROUND THE ENDS GIVING SHIT AWAY IN THERE VIDEOS. REAL BOSS MOVEMENTS. BARE OTHER PEOPLE KNOW THEY GOT FORCE-FIELD MAN FROM H.E.N.C.H, HIGH FOCUS, INVASION ALERT, PIFF GANG BARE PEOPLE BUT JUMP ON TWITTER TO GET INVOLVED WITH THAT. 

b-girl: Do you think you could take an academic approach and devise a Lazer Leng NVQ or degree?

Lazer Leng: WHAT A LENG-V-Q…HAHA YOUR ETHER BORN A LENGER OR NOT BUT IT STILL TAKES PRACTICE. THE MORE LAZERS YOU DISH OUT, LIKE A NICE BOTTLE OF WINE YOU CAN ONLY GET BETTER WITH TIME. #MULTIPLELAZERS

b-girl: Will you ever collaborate with a scientist geek to design a real lazer?

Lazer Leng: THIS QUESTION IS LAUGHABLE. PEOPLE HAVE GONE TO PRISON FOR WAVIN  KNIVES AND GUNS ON YOU TUBE VIDEOS…WHAT YOU THINK THEY’RE GUNNA DO WHEN THEY SEE A DOUBLE BARRELED SOLAR CHARGING LAZER CANON. LAZER LENG IS SMARTER THAN THAT.

b-girl: Iron Man V Spiderman – who wins? 

Lazer Leng: IN MY OPINON THERE BOTH AS MOIST AS THE JEDWARD TWINS IN 3 QUARTER LENGTH WET SUITS SCUBA DIVING IN MICHAEL BARRYMORE SWIMMING POOL AFTER A COUPLE PAGON RITUALS. THEY WOULD BOTH GET #LENG

b-girl: How do like minded people join your Leng Army?

Lazer Leng: GO CHECK OUT THE YOUTUBE VIDEOS youtube.com/lazerleng AND GO START DISHING OUT YOUR OWN LAZER ON WHAT EVER SCALE YOU CAN. IF YOU NEED TO PROTECT YOUR CHEST WE GOT #LENG T-SHIRTS RIGHT NOW SO COP THEM HERE  

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/LENG-T-Shirts-/161009859601

AND GO ON THE TWITTER @lazerleng.

BIG UP EVERYONE SUPPORTING, GO TELL A FRIEND TO TELL A FRIEND TO TELL HIS MUM TO TELL HER NEW BOYFRIEND FOR HIM TO TELL THAT GUY AT THE BUS STOP SO HE CAN TELL HIS MATE WITH ALL THE PLANTS THAT LENG IS FOR THE PEOPLE! 

b-girl: So there you have it!  He is a character and I support his endeavors! And yes Lazer is, if not SHOUTING at you, speaking to you in a very firm tone!  The capitals are all his:)  Make sure you subscribe to his channel, buy a t-shirt and join his LENG ARMY!

THE QUESTIONS -  whoisPARADISE EDITION

Mobo award nominated, Hip Hop award winning, whoisParadise has seen life from many different angles.  His achievements run from member of the unforgettable 57th Dynasty to appearing in a Hip Hop opera! His lyricism has never wavered and his material stands strong.   Currently he is set for the digital release of his new EP “Two4Se7en” which is steeped in the sociopolitical stance he takes.  There is a radical cast of guest emcees such as MCD, Genesis Elijah, Silas Zephania, Detroit Red and stalwart producer Daddy Skitz holding down the beats.  Right here he gives some candid responses, not dodging anything in the Hip Hop inquisition.

b-girl: Can you remember the first verse you ever wrote?

whoisParadise: Yes, the 1^st time I seriously tried my hand at composing a verse was in the midst of whole “Jimmy/Jimbrowski” (BDP/JB) ‘88 circa. I knew those songs backwards and forwards, but I wanted to conjure up a new slang for my male anatomy. And sadly, after all the comparisons to fruit and veg, animals and mythical creatures alike, I came up with… PUMPERNICKEL. –It sounded provocative in a non-provocative, kind-of foreign roll off the tongue kind-of way. The whole “PUMP” play on word action, somehow mad perfect sense to me back then.

“To some my pumpernickel is considered a food, but to some blah blah blah to get you into the mood”

b-girl: Name the first rap record that you memorized all the lyrics –

whoisParadise: There’s no real 1^st, I’m on a kind-of autistic spectrum for Hip-Hop. I don’t think, it just happens. But every now and then a stumper will come up – think Das EFX, Naughty By Nature’s OPP (there were some syllables in them tunes to leave ya tongue tied). And songs like The Message, by Grandmaster Flash have residence in my mind’s chambers, but I had to later in life go listen and study once I finally got his message.

 b-girl: In the tradition of Public Enemy, would you consider making your lyrics available as an accompanying download with your album / EP release?

whoisParadise: Absolutely! It’s another display window for the artform and most music listeners don’t always catch every word anyway. So it helps even if only for clarity for those karaoke bars in Japan where my music better be in 10 years from now.

b-girl: Recommend a book to my readers

whoisParadise: 1^st book that came to mind doesn’t reflect greatly on my book collection and choice selection, but there’s definitely a lot of wisdom on every page of that survival manifest called The 48 Laws of Power. 2^nd choice would be – Makes Me Wanna Holler: A Young Man In America by Nathan McCall

 b-girl: Do you think many people know what they are talking about when they shout about the illuminati and New World Order?

whoisParadise: Lies buried beneath truth, disguised as folly in plain view of non-believing, easily-swayed by notions of why suffering occurs to masses who consume doctrines without pause to chew the fat nor quiz the chef.

Tupac said something to the effect of “if the Illuminati really exists, and I aint saying they don’t, but then how the fuck did this nigger with barely a GED been on the corners scrambling his whole life, how HE end up with all the damn answers to their master plan?

Do you really think you’ve got them? Or have they got you stuck on the web distracted from the bills, legislation and liberty laws they’re editing and amending whilst WE scream about such and such and such are the shepherds. Then who’s the sheep?

 b-girl: Have you ever wondered what could be the alternative to our current political system that is essentially run by the ‘elite’?

whoisParadise: Yes, but I always boil it down to a thick conclusion that man is inherently corrupt and corruptible. We are a part of this planet’s animal eco-system not apart from it. It will always be survival of the fittest (to rule) OR survival of the smartest (to rule). All those other sociopolitical states (Marxism, Communism, Leninism, Capitalism) don’t work without long term- they all fouled by inevitable similar or worse side effects and knock-on effects to “society”. Man is always in a constant state of chaos and if not, he’ll seek it out.

 b-girl: What movie did you see or book did you read as a child that with hindsight you now think “that was not appropriate…”

whoisParadise: Some old 70’s massage book my mom owned! ‘The Art of Sensual Massage’. I found that book by accident and to this day, it’s the largest, heaviest, only hardcover porno I’ve ever seen. –And then owned. I was about 5 when I stumbled across that. Learnt from young some techniques. LOL

 b-girl: I say hop into my Time machine, you say take me to the year 2088!

whoisParadise: I’ve seen the past before. I want that future-ish. I want to see what we evolve into, if we’ve learned from our mistakes or if we continue to rehash and remix and rerecord the same old, same old.

b-girl:  What is your definitive “This is why I love Hip Hop” moment?

whoisParadise: instinctively knew Hip-Hop spoke in secrecy to a generation being weaned on it’s new-speak, but when I was in Auburn Correctional Facility, just rapping through the bars of my cell, spit’n all the oldest hip-hop we could reminisce to memory. I found myself rap’n verbatim intro the outro The Message - and when I reached Verse IV, I finally got the message, in the very place the song warned me of – that was a magical, breath taking moment of realisation for me. The dude was talking to me the same message set to a Hip-Hop drum pattern, and it took me 20 years before I understood.

“You’ll grow in the ghetto living second rate

Your eyes will sing a song of deep hate.

The places you play and where you stay

Look like one great big alleyway

You’ll admire all the number book takers

Thugs, pimps, pushers and the big money makers

Driving big cars, spending twenties and tens

And you wanna grow up to be just like them,

Smugglers, scrambles, burglars, gamblers

Pickpockets, peddlers even panhandlers

You say: “I’m cool, I’m no fool!”

But then you wind up dropping out of high school.

Now you’re unemployed, all non-void

Walking ‘round like you’re Pretty Boy Floyd

Turned stickup kid, look what you’ve done did

Got sent up for a eight year bid

Now your manhood is took and you’re a may tag

Spend the next two years as an undercover fag

Being used and abused to serve like hell

Till one day you was found hung dead in a cell

It was plain to see that your life was lost

You was cold and your body swung back and forth

But now your eyes sing the sad, sad song

Of how you lived so fast and died so young”

b-girl: What is your favorite word?

whoisParadise: Analytical

b-girl: What word do you hate to say?

whoisParadise: Mate

 b-girl: If the technology downloads expert fight skills into Neo’s mind in the movie The Matrix becomes a reality what skill or skills would you have downloaded into your mind?

whoisParadise:  Master Seafood Chef – I could cook up a storm and be lethal with sharp knives

b-girl: How’s your acting skills?

whoisParadise: Above par (just ask The Times – re: our Mozart Hip-Hopera at Glyndebourne opera House)

 b-girl: Would you consider devising, writing and directing a drama exclusive for YouTube?

whoisParadise: Yes. Shhhhhh. Interactive is the future. Everyone is a broadcaster.

 b-girl: Have you met any members of The Black Panthers?

whoisParadise: My comrade and mentor… Brother Teddy Jah Heath. – A million more shall know his name. A Black Panther and BLA (Black Liberation Army) soldier. A Martyr!

 b-girl: If you could design your own flag what would it look like?

whoisParadise: A Pirate Flag. Cause it would be ALL BLACK, but don’t know what logo I’d add.

 b-girl: Can you recommend a documentary to my readers?

whoisParadise: Biography – Ben & Jerry’s, a quaint David vs. Goliath story.

 b-girl: Who would you say is the Patron Saint of Hip Hop?

whoisParadise:Simples. KRS-One!

 B-girl: Props to whoisParadise who’s answers show how widespread his talents and interests are and proves that he is Hip Hop.  His new EP is out on 29th March,

RELEASE MARCH 29 - #Two4Se7en_EP feat Genesis Elijah, J The Exodus, MCD, Silas Zephania, cparkerbeats (formerly Charlie Parker -57^th Dynasty) Detroit Red and Daddy Skitz

Radio Promotion Tour Mid April

Website: http://whoisparadise.com

YouTube: http://youtube.com/whoisparadise

Twitter: http://twitter.com/whoisparadise

Facebook: http://facebook.com/whoisparadise

Instagram: http://instagram.com/whoisparadise

Soundcloud: http://soundcloud.com/whoisparadise